


So Cliché

by janalecksa



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Forgiveness, Karasuno, Karasuno Family, M/M, Police Officer Sawamura Daichi, Post-Break Up, Reunions, Teacher Sugawara Koushi, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:22:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26024917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/janalecksa/pseuds/janalecksa
Summary: "Koushi..."he called again, eyes closed because he felt like throwing up.This time, Suga's voice answered. "What?""I'm sorry.""I know.""I love you.""I know."Daichi opened his eyes slightly to look at Sugawara's form that was looking down. "Don't go, please."Suga looked back up at him, his puffy eyes still glistening with tears. "Only if you won't let me go this time.""I won't."
Relationships: Michimiya Yui/Original Male Character(s), Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Shimizu Kiyoko/Tanaka Ryuunosuke
Comments: 7
Kudos: 43





	So Cliché

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, this is my first posted one-shot on Ao3. I hope you guys like it! Its a DaiSuga Angst. Listen to "Forever" by Lewis Capaldi if you want more feels.

It was a fairly hot day...

It was 7 o'clock in the morning but the humidity in the air was stinging Daichi's skin, the sun almost burning the exposed ones. He was barely a few blocks from his house but from the way his face is dripping was enough to let anyone think that he walked a lot more than that. The police uniform he was wearing didn't exactly help at all, Daichi figured, as he pulled down the collar to atleast get some air inside his body. It was a good thing he left his vest and cap at the locker room in the station, he definitely didn't need that right now.

Daichi took out his bottle of water and drank to relieve his self from the summer heat and wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. "I guess I need to take a ride to the station..."he said to himself.

"Sawamura!"

Daichi jolted in his spot when he heard his name being called. He turned to see Yui Michimiya run up to him. She was holding her son's hand and a small child's bag in the other. Yui was slightly panting, a thin layer of sweat coated her forehead, her brown hair still cut short. Time has done her really well, Daichi once told her, her face giving a more mature look than before.

"Oh. Yui! Shiro-kun!"he greeted them.

Shiro waved energetically as Yui let go of his hand. "Daichi-san!"he greeted back. "Look, look! I'm going to the volleyball summer camp today!"the little brown-haired boy raised the volleyball in his hands and a flyer of the summer camp for boys. Daichi felt himself be hit with nolstagia at the sight of a volleyball. _I didn't realize it had been so long_ , he thought.

Regardless of that, Daichi grinned, "Make sure you do your best there, okay?"he said. "Your mother was a good captain on the volleyball team before."

"Oh, please, Sawamura!"Yui exclaimed as she wiped her brow, she was also panting slightly. Both Daichi and Shiro turned to her, "We both know who was the _good_ captain here..."she said with a small smile.

Shiro jumped, "Yes Mommy told me ALLLL about you and Kara-Ka- what was it again?"he mumbled unsurely.

"Karasuno, baby."Yui supplied.

"Yes! Karasuno!"Shiro said with the same amount of energy as before.

Yui just looked at his son with a fond expression as she took out a handkerchief and wiped Shiro's face with it. She looked at Daichi and smirked slightly, "He was so excited to hear about it, and I also showed some clips that we took of the matches in the Nationals."she said.

Daichi forced a smile. It had been a while since he was reminded to anything related to Karasuno, or volleyball for that matter. It was bringing back a few, not forgotten rather repressed memories. Granted, he was working in the Miyagi Police but he tried his best to avoid his Alma Mater, not that he would ever admit that out loud.

Daichi leaned down and ruffled little Shiro's hair, "Really? Well, I'm glad our team has you as a fan. What position would you play?"he asked.

"I want to be a setter!"he replied.

Daichi felt his smile be harder to paint but he relented, "That's good. Just do your best and you can be as good as anyone."he said.

Shiro's eyes lit up, "Even as good as Kageyama-san?"

"Yeah. Even as good as him."he replied.

When he stood back up, Yui was looking at him apologetically. Daichi shook his head dismissively, silently telling her it was no big deal. She knows, of course, why Daichi had been avoiding his former teammates. Daichi had moved here a few months ago. He was surprised to see an old friend such as her, but he was happy to see that Yui Michimiya has had a good life.

Shiro wasn't actually Yui's son. Shiro was only four when Yui had been in a relationship with Shiro's father, Tsukasa. Yui had married Tsukasa, a year after she graduated college so, in a way, Yui is Shiro's mother.

It helped that Yui and Shiro both had brown hair and similar bright smiles, it really made them look like they were truly related. Of course that would make people think that Yui had been a teen mother at 16, but Daichi had heard her say that she was more than okay in people thinking that.

They had rekindled their friendship when they bumped into each other on the way to work before. They caught up on each other and now she was practically the only person that connects Daichi to Karasuno and his high school days and in return...him.

"Sawamura, you're headed to the bus station, right?" Daichi was heard Yui say. "Come on, there is no way you are walking in this heat."she scolded.

Daichi chuckled, "Yeah, I'm going to take the bus today."he simply replied.

"Yey! We get to ride with Daichi-san!"Shiro cheered and ran up to the bus stop.

Yui and Daichi just looked at the kid before laughing simultaenously. "Awww...I wish I still had that youth."Daichi muttered.

"You're just 23, what are you talking about?"Yui said amusedly.

Daichi shrugged, "I feel older, though."

Daichi felt this phone vibrate inside his pocket. He reached for it as he walked with Yui that was calling out to Shiro, who continued to jump up and down the bus stop.

Daichi was intrigued on who might be texting him, he had texted his co-workers that he was on his way to work already. Were they trying to make him buy them some snacks? Daichi grouched over at the thought.

But it turns out he was wrong.

It was a number he hadn't seen in a long time. The name of the caller slightly wobbly under the light of the sun, but Daichi already knows what it says.

_Asahi Azumane_  
**1 new message**

Daichi stopped in his tracks and stared at his phone. He frowned and gently pressed on the notification. He didn't know what to expect because he hadn't really kept in touch with them ever since he started his third year in college. He raised an eyebrow when the screen started loading.

_Hey, Daichi! Tanaka is planning to have a reunion at a bar there in Miyagi. He says its perfect before we meet up for the freak duo's game. Can u believe it? He's planning it this Saturday, are u coming?_

_sent_  
_7:48 am_

Daichi felt a chill creep up his whole body. He heard about the Hinata joining the Black Jackals after going home a few weeks ago, but he never heard of any match. The freak duo, as the team promptly named Hinata and Kageyama was going against each other like what they always promised. Daichi wanted to force himself to say he was happy for them, but he couldn't shake the sinking feeling in his stomach because he knew what a reunion meant. He sweat dropped at the thought.

He had no reason not to come, Daichi lived in Miyagi, unlike Asahi and the others who now lived in Tokyo and other places in the world. Heck, Hinata just came back from Brazil. Only Daichi stayed back here at Miyagi, along with another person. Daichi gripped his phone hard as he struggled to take in a breath. After three years, he was going to see him again. He didn't know what to do with that information. His heart was racing and suddenly it didn't feel that hot as it was earlier.

"Eh? Sawamura?"Daichi heard Yui call but he didn't want her to worry so, he smiled up at her. "Are you okay?"she said. She was standing with Shiro just a few steps away from his and under the shade on the hood in the bus stop.

Daichi smiled, a small and forced smile, he looked up the sun as he hid the phone in his pocket again. "I'm fine." he whispered. "I-Its just the heat...it's really hot today is it?"

Yui looked at him in concern, "Yes, Sawamura. Come here at the shade." she replied softly.

Daichi simply smiled. He knew Yui didn't believe him but he was glad she played along, atleast for now. Daichi closed his eyes as he stepped into the shade. He gave another one of those smiles to Yui and shook his head. She returned it with a small glare, indicating she was going to talk to him later, whether he liked it or not. Then her attention was taken by Shiro who exclaimed that the bus was coming. Daichi immediately dropped the smile and sighed as soon as she took her eyes of him.

It was a fairly hot day...

But Daichi wondered why he felt so cold all over...

~~~

~~_Sugawara Koushi._ ~~

This name had practically become taboo in Daichi's life.

It wasn't planned, but everyone around him just stopped mentioning him after a week at the start of his third year in college. Daichi never told them otherwise, so he really never heard the name out loud.

It only dully resounded in the back of his mind.

However, even with the TV blaring, the microwave sounding off, and the his phone receiving goddamn texts from both Yui and his co-workers, Daichi had the name Sugawara Koushi screamed in his mind.

Daichi groaned and held his head in his hands. He had meant these noises to be a distraction, but like the owner of the name, who was very tenacious and determined, the name refuses to be reduced to a low dismissable sound. The 'distractions' had become added factors to his incoming headache.

It was a quarter to 8 in the morning when Asahi, the man bun himself, had texted Daichi about the 'reunion' Tanaka was planning, and now the sun had already set. The skies were turning darker as the night approaches. Daichi was still staring at that same text which he had no idea what to reply to.

"Oh, god."Daichi muttered as he rested his back to the couch. He came back from work a few hours ago, but he remembered how he acted the whole day which explained the reasonable number of messages Yui and the others gave him.

It was bad enough he concerned Yui, enough to make her want to talk about it now. Daichi knew she had been lenient in the morning because she definitely knew something was up. She didn't say a word, but that just meant a whole in-depth conversation later. That's what it is now.

But, later on in the day, he was so out of focus at work. His co-workers got extremely worried when he sat on a different desk, said 'yes' to almost everything, and rearranged the papers that he already previously sorted a few minutes ago.

Daichi closed his eyes and smacked his hand to his forehead as he remembered the laughing yet concerned faces of his acquaintances.

" _Stupid._ You get invited in a reunion and you freak out like this?"Daichi said to himself. " _Pathetic,_ Daichi"

A loud, banging knock, loud enough to overpower the other noises, startled Daichi. He sighed and walked towards the door, pressing the microwave as he did. He braced himself to open his front door to come face to face with Yui Michimiya once more, holding a phone to see dozens of messages she sent him and a condescending look on her face.

Daichi smiled nervously as he let her in. He immediately closed the door and rushed past her to turn of the TV and get his phone to turn to silent.

"Alright. What's happening?" Yui said as she turned to him. She raised an eyebrow and waited for an answer.

Daichi sat down silently on the couch and she followed suit. It had become a normal occurence to have her inside his home, that she didn't even look foreign as she sat there. She had easily become a constant in Daichi's life, apparently.

"Hmm?" Yui hummed to get his attention that started wandering off.

"Nothing." Daichi blurted out. "I'm fi—"

"Don't give me that." Yui said sternly as she settled comfortably on the couch. "You don't go blasting the TV in full volume and not respond to messages if it's _nothing_." she said sternly.

Daichi surrendered, as he raised his hands in the air. He reached for his phone on the counter top and placed them between him and Yui. "There."

Yui eyes the phone, as if she knows what it might be. And she probably does. Considering, there was basically only one source of drama in Daichi's dull, boring life.

She held the phone and read the message silently. When she was done, she sighed and looked at Daichi in an expression he doesn't understand.

"So, there's going to be a reunion? I didn't know Hinata and Kageyama were playing with each other. I tho—"

Daichi shook his head, "They're playing against each other. Their long time goal made come true."he supplied.

Yui hummed in amazement," Oh, really?"she said in a light tone, but her eyes scanned Daichi's face." Are you coming?"

Daichi looked away. He leaned back the couch and lifted his hands to make an 'I don't know' gesture.

Yui sighed and slid closer to her friend. "Sawamura, you know you can refuse if you want. I don't think they'll hold it against you."she says now softly.

Daichi huffed and turned to her, "Yui, I live in Miyagi. I have absolutely no reason not to go."

"You can make one up?"Yui suggested.

Daichi considered it. He really could make one up just like she said. He really could, but at the same time he didn't want to. He had been dreading this day but he always succumbed to the thought that it was still going to happen. However, Daichi knew he had reacted poorly and still was. He groaned and shook his head. He had to get his shit together.

"No, Yui. I need to go. Maybe to, finally, just finally, get the closure that I need."he said solemnly. "I'm sorry, I reacted off all day and it got you and a few other people worried. I was just...anxious."he added.

But Yui, ever understanding, just smiled and took his hands. "It's totally fine, Sawamura. I'm glad you made this choice. I just thought you wanted more time, and that's why I asked."she said softly. "But, remember that you have people you can talk to! You understand? Daichi Sawamura?"

Daichi simply gave a soft smile and a swift nod.

~~~

Yui had left later on that night with a gentle smile on her face. She waved goodbye to Daichi with a 'my husband might get jealous' quip before walking out his front door. Daichi knew Tsukasa, and he wasn't a jealous man, so no problems there.

However, Daichi still had a lot of problems to face.

He still hadn't responded to Asahi and Saturday is really just a few days away. He hadn't even replied to his co-workers.

And he doesn't know what to wear.

"Okay, Daichi, start slow."he muttered to himself that revertedly echoed across his house.

He picked up his phone and went back to his and Asahi's messagebox. Daichi took in a deep breath and tried to keep the message as casually as possible.

_Asahi! It's been a long time, huh?_

_I didn't even know Hinata and Kageyama are playing against each other..._

_What bar is it? I can make time on Saturday._

_sent_  
_6:52pm_

Daichi gritted his teeth and waited for the response. He rested his arm on his side while still holding his phone. He was just about to mutter something when the phone dinged.

_Daichi!_

_Oh, god. I thought you wouldn't respond because it's been so long and I haven't kept in touch. Sorry about that._

_I'll text the details when Tanaka finalizes it._

___

_Sorry. I took so long to respond._

_Hey, I haven't been in touch either. We're equally at fault, so I'm sorry too._

_Who are the ones available anyway?_

___

_Me, you, Tanaka and Kiyoko?_

_Nishinoya is in Italy, last time I checked. Enoshita is still working out his schedule. Same as Narita and Kinoshita. Hinata said he'll make it tho. No response from the other former first years..._

___

_Kageyama?_

_sent_  
_6:59pm_

Daichi's whole body stiffened. The lack of both the setters of the old team was surprisingly putting him on edge. He knew Asahi and even those 3 lost year in their friendship cannot erase that. Asahi is simply avoiding to tackle that issue.

_Uhm...I'm still not sure. He simply gave a like emoji. Maybe, he's going?_

_And, Suga is also going..._

_sent_  
_7:01_

Daichi, much to his own surprise, relaxed when he read it. Not because of the inevitable response because of course Suga would be going but...

He was so used at other people tiptoeing around when in comes to Sugawara. Heck, Yui only ever mentioned him once. And Daichi was fine with it. But...seeing Asahi, a friend that is equally close to both of them, holding the subject as a fragile ornament, didn't sit right with him.

It just didn't feel right. He didn't want to make the team uncomfortable because of the two of them...and their history.

_Oh, okay then. I'll see you there?_

_Also, you don't have to worry about saying Suga's name around me. Just act like we always do._

_sent  
7:01_

Daichi turned off his phone and relaxed in his seat. Thank god that was done, Daichi thought. His phone dinged and he knew it was probably just Asahi saying sorry and conceding to his request, so he didn't bother to look at it.

Instead, he replied to his co-workers. He said sorry about his behavior and promised to do better tomorrow. They responded with good intentions and that was the end of it. He also messaged Yui, saying thank you and to say hi to Tsukasa and Shiro.

By the time his body clock could tell him it was time to sleep, he had already done half of what he has to do. Daichi had always been an organized person so he knows that doing little steps will keep him back in track.

Daichi now sat at his bed, his phone placed in front of him. He was about to get ready to end the day but he just really couldn't get the name of his ex-boyfriend to stop resounding in his mind.

"It had been three years...why are you still like this..."

He snatched his phone and opened up his gallery. Daichi sighed, he had deleted every photo he had with Suga, atleast that's what he made himself to believe. Because he just placed them safely inside a hard-drive that was under his bed, but who was asking anyway?

But he also saved one photo of them on his phone.

It was tucked under the pile of selfies Yui and Shiro took as well as the pictures of his old friends in college. It was hidden well by the artistically captured images of his everyday life. He scrolled down through it...smiling at the memories that resurfaced.

Until...

There he was...

It was a picture of the two of them. Daichi had a hand on Suga's waist that was leaning up against him. One of his hands formed a peace sign right on the side of his face and the other was thrown on Daichi's shoulder; their cheeks inches apart from each other. Suga's face was winking at the camera while sticking his tongue out playfully, think silver hair unruly and all over the place. Their clothes were filled with mud and they looked like a bunch of kids that played through the field. But Daichi was looking at Suga fondly, like he was the most precious thing in the world, while his other hand was at the back of his head.

Daichi smiled sadly at the picture and he slowly felt the familiar stinging in his eyes. His chest tightened and he felt the longing he had been suppressing for so long. He closed his eyes as he lay down the bed to control the seeping ache in his chest. He had remembered the day they had that picture like it just happened yesterday.

It was summer before their third year of college. Suga had wanted to play some volleyball in a field he recently saw. Daichi thought of having picnic there too, he didn't want to sound like a cheesy boyfriend but he thought it was a good idea and that Suga would like it.

He wasn't wrong though, Suga loved the picnic. They ate the homemade sandwiches and a few other snacks right after their little match. Suga teased Daichi, saying he didn't peg Daichi to be the cheesy type.

_"Really, a picnic? I expected the romantic and cheesy type to be me..."Suga said before cackling. His head thrown back as he laughed loudly when he saw Daichi's playful glare. "Don't worry, Daichi! I love it!"he said with a small smirk when he had calmed down._

Daichi breathed heavily at the memory of his voice, much less his laugh. He smiled despite himself at how he had responded to Suga's teasing.

_"You love it, huh?"Daichi whispered lowly and approached Suga with a mischievous smile. Suga's hazel brown eyes widened and immediately stood up to get away, but Daichi was faster and had already tackled Suga to the ground. They rolled around, laughing their heads off until dirt and mud had covered them._

_"Really, Daichi?"Suga laughed. "The typical rolling on the dirt, landing on top of me and smiling?"_

_Daichi kissed him, his smile was more than likely to be felt by Sugawara._

_Suga giggled slightly when they broke apart, "And now, there's kissing. Ahh...so cliche."he sighed contentedly._

_Daichi kissed his cheek as he laughed and stood up from the ground._

_"Yeah, so cliche."_

A lone tear had made its way to Daichi's cheek. He breathed out a shaking breath and closed his phone. He was this torn in seeing their picture, what would it be like to see him again in person. Daichi shook his head at all the possible scenarios he could think of. He wiped the tear away and closed off his lights, tucked the phone inside his drawer away from his eyes. He layed down on his bed praying for atleast a dreamless night despite the hammering of his chest and his anxiety spiking up.

As soon as he relaxed his body despite the humming in his ears, he felt drowsiness attack his senses and dulling any ache he felt in his chest. He closed his eyes and sighed the remaining anxiety and lulled himself to sleep.

He never got to pick out his clothes for Saturday night.

~~~

The days went by fast...

It was already Saturday and to Daichi, it felt as fast as a lightning. He stood there, palms wet and mind a fuzzy mess. His heart was pumping harder that he can hear his heartbeat pulsing in his ears. Sweat had dropped down the sides of his face and he knew it wasn't just from the heat. He had never felt this way for a long time. In highschool, he was fairly level-headed even before important matches. It was in his personality after all.

But now?

Daichi could easily be described as a nervous wreck.

It didn't help at all that all he was wearing was a stupid plain black shirt and some worn pants, which was by far the best pants he had in his god-forsaken wardrobe. He heaved a deep breath as he forced his body to calm down. He silently wished he had remembered the date sooner.

Honestly, Daichi hadn't even realize the days.

He had successfully forced himself to take his mind off that reunion, but obviously, he took it off his mind TOO much. As soon as he was out of his shift he hurried home and took out the only good clothes he could find in his awfully limited set of clothes.

Daichi could just tear up as he was at a loss at what he should wear. After over thirty minutes despairing over it, he gave up and chose the ones he could actually find decent.

" I should really upgrade my wardrobe." Daichi muttered as he pulled at his shirt. "I could hear Asahi laughing, that dumbass" he growled under his breath.

He grimaced as another wave of anxiety overcame his thoughts and emotions. But he wasn't going to back down now. He slowly stepped closer and reached to open the door.

"Daichi!"someone had called behind him.

Daichi turned back only to see the one and only Asahi Azumane. His long brown thick hair that was usually up in a man bun was now down to his shoulders. He wore glasses and was sporting the usual wide, eye-wrinkling smile he has.

"Asahi..."Daichi greeted back, fully facing the other man. "Glad to see you looking like yourself, now."he said.

Asahi raised his eyebrows, "What do you mean by that?"he said playfully menacingly.

"You don't try to look 'wild' anymore."Daichi said wutha deadpan face until his face broke into a grin. "It's nice to see you, man!"he said.

Asahi rubbed the back of his head, "It's been so long, hasn't it? Oh god, we haven't had contact in 3 years. I'm really so-"

Daichi shook his head, "I wasn't in contact as well. It wasn't entirely your fault."

Asahi looked at him knowingly. Daichi returned it with a small smile, daring not to say a word.

"He's inside, you know?"Asahi blurted. "He texted me a while ago."

Daichi felt his chest grow tighter before subtly nodding his head. He met Asahi's eyes before turning to open the door. Ruminating about the idea of seeing him again will only lead to more disastrous outcomes, especially on his part. He knows fully well that sometimes doing things in abandon will be effective in certain situations. And this was an example of a perfect opportunity to be reckless.

Asahi followed as he slowly walked inside. The place was blaring with music that it almost made him deaf for a moment. He winced at that sensation but quickly adjusted. He looked around to look for any familiar faces, but his heart was pounding loudly in his chest. He wanted to believe it was because of the bass beat in the music, but he knows it wasn't what it was.

He heard Asahi call out behind him, "Tanaka!"

Asahi held Daichi on the shoulder and leaded him to the side and there they all were. Daichi gulped down a lump in his throat.

"Asahi!" Tanaka greeted, standing up from Tanaka Kiyoko's side. Tanaka's eyes widened in seeing Daichi. "Daichi-san! You're here!"he exclaimed. "Man, I didn't know you were coming. You managed to finally get him out, Asahi-san?"

Asahi laughed at Tanaka's reaction and pushed Daichi to their direction. "Yeah. Here's Captain MIA, as you would call it Tanaka."

Daichi raised his eye brow at Asahi at the nickname in which Asahi shrugged his shoulders bemusedly to.

He shook his head and turned to the couple. "Tanaka."he smiled. He leaned in for a side hug. He turned to Shimizu standing behind Tanaka and smiled sheepishly, "Kiyoko..."

Shimizu simply smiled her gentle smile, "Sawamura."she greeted. "It's been a while."

"A while?! It's been AGES, since we last saw each other." Tanaka exclaimed. "Where have you been, Dai-san?! How are you?"

Daichi grinned. "I'm...sorry?"he said lamely. He shook his head, "No. Really, I'm sorry I hadn't kept in touch. Congrats on your wedding, by the way."

Kiyoko blushed and smiled showing her hand with the wedding band on. Tanaka grinned victoriously and held up his own.

"Man, I hope Yuu was here. I would rub it in his face." Tanaka laughed and everyone joined him.

"Ryuu..."Kiyoko said lowly.

Tanaka raised his hands up, "I'm kidding!"he laughed.

Asahi chuckled, "Let's all take this to our corner, guys."he suggested. "It's too loud here."

Everyone nodded and they all went to where Enoshita was sitting diwn with Kinoshita and Narita. They were all laughing at something and when Daichi and the others arrived they stood up and beamed happily.

"Well, well!"Enoshita grinned. "If it isn't the team dad!"he said before chuckling. "It's good to see you, Daichi-san."

"Enoshita." Daichi said, pulling the man on his second side hug. "Kinoshita. Narita."he addressed the other two.

They all said their greetings and soon after they were properly seated on their seats. They started some small talk about work and about other things, but Daichi cannot focus on their questions when he was anxious of the lack of presence of the one he was dreading the most.

However, Daichi did not know that Asahi had picked up on his unease and looked at Tanaka, "Where's Suga? He texted me that he was already here." Asahi suddenly asked. Daichi also noticed how he ignored the look that he gave him.

Tanaka looked to Enoshita before answering, "Now that you asked, he went in the back actually. Said he was calling someone for a moment."he said, subtly eyeing Daichi too.

"Maybe, I should go check on him."Enoshita offered. He stood up until he was stopped by Kiyoko.

"No need, Chikara."she said. Everyone was confused for a moment until she pointed at the exit sign. The moment Daichi turned his head to that direction, he was again sucked in by the man named _Sugawara Koushi._

For years, the name had been a taboo. Whenever he heard the sound of his name fall out of someone's lips, it was as if he was standing in a room while everything else was being carried away. Daichi had no hold, no grip. No sense of organization and reason. That was what it felt whenever he heard Sugawara's name.

Usually, seeing the love of their life was a surge of energy. Adrenaline running, mind-wracking experience. However, the heart that would rattle and frantically beat in his chest a few moments ago was suddenly regulated. Air was pumping in his veins steadily and more in control than ever. The haze that was in his head was lifted and he could see clearly again, for the first time in three years. Every anxious thought and rational fear he had was thrown out the window, and was filled with him, and only him. He was a mess and the mere sight of him, was enough to fix him all together again.

_Sugawara Koushi had such a power over Daichi._

Sugawara Koushi was standing there, his form illuminated beautifully by the green lights of the exit sign. His silver hair was longer than Daichi had expected it would be. He was wearing a white button down shirt that was side-tucked in a dark-colored jeans. However, all Daichi could focus on was his face. Sugawara was tucking his phone away in his bag and had a slightly peeved out expression on his face. Daichi, however, could see the ghost of a smile in his face. And the first thought that crosses his mind was:

_I wish I had dressed up a little more better._

"Suga-san!"Tanaka called out.

Daichi watched as different sets of emotions passed the man's face. Suga looked around confusedly before his eyes settled on Tanaka's waving hand. The ghost of the smile turning into a full-pledged one, so soft and cheery as ever. He raised his right hand to the side of his hand and waved shortly before walking towards their direction.

"Tanaka."

His heart skipped a beat at the sound of his voice and Daichi expected his heart to return to its fast beating and overwhelm his senses, but it didn't happen. Instead, he continued to calmly watch Sugawara approach the table and greeted everyone, glad that he would atleast be able to hear that same calm tone the silver-haired man has.

"Tanaka!"he greeted and Tanaka, who had already stood up, leaned in for a hug. "Kiyoko, you look beautiful!"he complimented the woman that had leaned in as well but this time to kiss Sugawara in the cheek.

"Thank you, Koushi."she replied blushing.

Asahi had finally closed in and before he knew it Sugawara has his arm around the larger man's neck, placing a sharp jab in Asahi's gut. "You said you'll be here in five minutes!"Sugawara said in a mischievous voice. "You're still always late!"

"Ow! Ow! Suga!" Asahi complained. "It hurts! Let me go!"

Sugawara soon released him and laughed out loud. It was a melodic sound that was intensely familiar to Daichi that another beat of his heart was skipped and a smile pressed on his face. He wasn't standing up though. He watched as Enoshita, Kinoshita, and Narita were already making their way to the man.

He couldn't because he was paralyzed in his seat.

After Sugawara had greeted all the present former members of their team, his gaze fell on Daichi. Daichi saw the smile on Sugawara's face falter, but only for a fraction of a second. He smiled but rather hesitantly, at Daichi and awkwardly raised a tentative hand up and waved, since they had the table between them.

"Daichi..."Sugawara said, his voice holding slight disbelief.

Daichi almost gasped at the sound of his own name from Sugawara. Regardless, he also raised a hand, conscious of the rest of the team staring at their interaction right at this very moment as if they were expecting all this drama after all. 

"Sugawa-"he started but was cut off by louder call of his name.

" _Suga-san!_ "

A dash of orange came into view, destroying the tense atmosphere that was there. It was replaced with shock and amusement, the moment they saw who it was. Of course, who else would it be rather than their personal ray of sunshine.

Hinata Shouyou came barreling towards Sugawara and hugged him. Sugawara's face was painted with shock and panic as he felt the now buffed up kohai of his hug the life out of him. Even though he was still relatively small, Daichi knew full well the strength of that man and how Sugawara must be feeling at the moment. He almost laughed at it, if he wasn't so bitter in losing the chance to speak to Sugawara after three years.

"Woah! Hinata, you're not as small as you were, you're squeezing me!" Sugawara complained and Asahi chuckled beside him.

"Karma, Suga."Asahi said.

Hinata released Suga and beamed at the other man, "Asahi-san!"he greeted.

"Hey, Hinata. How was Brazil for you?" Asahi asked. Before Hinata got the chance to respond Sugawara ruffled his hair in a very familiar way. The scene throws a wave of nostalgia at Daichi and possibly everyone else in the room.

"Awww...you've grown taller now!"Sugawara commented. Daichi wanted him to speak more, he wasn't deterred by the shrieks Hinata said and the howling laughter of the others. No, none of his attention could be diverted from the other man. He was so enthralled to see him again that he didn't notice how Asahi was observing him.

"Hinata!"a voice cutted through the conversation and they all turned to see Yachi in between Yamaguchi and Tsukishima.

"Hey, guys."Yamaguchi greeted with a smile. Tsukishima merely gave a wave before smirking down at orange ball of energy.

"Glad to see you as small as before."he said smugly as Yamaguchi laughed. Yachi grinned but elbowed the man in the ribs before she was tackled by, yet again, Hinata.

Everything else came by a blur to Daichi. He barely registered the conversations of the others as his eyes and attention was solely on Sugawara. He could faintly hear Hinata babling about Brazil and Tsukishima characteristically dissing the poor orange-red; as well as Yamaguchi laughing while Yachi said to break it off. But the roaring cheers are the sounds that broke him out of his stupor.

"WOOH! The big shot is here!"they heard Kinoshita say.

"KAGEYAMA!"Almost everyone simultaneously screamed.

The said man had his eyes wide but then, he was probably used to the attention so he quickly recovered and gave a small wave to his former team. 

"Hi!"Kageyama said, a small nostalgic curve on his lips was seen. 

"KAGEYAMA!"Hinata rushed towards his former partner and stood proudly, showing off his now taller stature with a large smile. "Don't forget what I promised you! I'm going to win!"

Despite his surprise to see the orange-haired ball of energy, Kageyama gave his terrifying smile. "You've been late for so long. I'm not going to let you win that easily."

"Alright! Alright!" The two jumped when they heard a voice between them. "The night is early for your threats so tone it down a little bit!" Yamaguchi scolded the two and held them by their hairs before pushed them towards the others.

Daichi was just watching the whole scene. He had the urge to speak out just like he did when he was the captain, but before he could, Yamaguchi had already made his way over. He unconsciously smiled at that. They all have grown so much. 

He was busy gazing over at the hilarious moment that he didn't notice how Sugawara stared at him. Not at first anyway, because he raised his head just to meet those deep brown eyes that had been staring at him.

The team had their attention on the former first years that they didn't notice the interaction between the two. Sugawara's eyes widened when he realized Daichi had been staring back, but he never averted his eyes and simply gazed back into Daichi. And with that, they were lost to their own world. Oblivious to the loud music and boisterous greetings of their former team. It was like they were trying to communicate through their eyes, however they couldn't understand what the other was saying. They were desperate to find the person they were with before those blurry three years had passed.

And suddenly, the bubble popped. The team sat back down to the spot and each passing body between them broke them out of their stupor.

The fun of the night continued. They had fun catching up to each other's lives and teasing the freak duo for their upcoming destined match. Everyone was smiling, laughing. Daichi had tried to release himself and just have fun with his kohais.

But he couldn't.

Because that small interaction with the man he loves still had drilled a deeper hold in him.

Yet, what he couldn't stand was that he saw an identical abyss when he looked at Sugawara. The same loneliness and regret. Same longing.

_Sugawara Koushi was as miserable as Sawamura Daichi._

Daichi felt ten times shittier when that simple truth came to light.

~~~

Daichi sat in his living room after a long day at work, three days after the Karasuno reunion. Yui sat across from him, drinking her coffee. It was like five pm and the sun was already setting, obviously it was too late to drink coffee, but Yui didn't care.

"So..."Yui started, dragging on the syllable. "How was it?"

"Okay."was all Daichi said.

Yui merely raised an eyebrow, "Yeah, you can do better than that, Sawamura."

Daichi anxiously rubbed his eyebrows. "I don't even know what to say, Yui."he started. "I can't even—God, I don't even know."

A weight plopped beside him and held his shoulder, "Seeing him...after three years...what was it like?"she asked softly.

Surprisingly, Daichi found himself laughing at that question. "H-he was still as pretty as ever, Yui. He still gives those cute wide smiles, you know? And—he still gives those adorable pouts..."Daichi said chuckling. "He—he's still perfect."

Yui hummed urging Daichi to go on. However, Daichi remained silent, staring into nothing, lost in his thoughts.

"And?"Yui supplied.

"And nothing."Daichi said with a smile to Yui. "Seriously, Yui. You have nothing to worry about."he said.

That was a lie. The worst part is Daichi knew and he knew that Yui also knew. He wasn't fooling anyone, but it was the most effective way to tell Yui to drop the subject.

Daichi is not ready to put his emotions into words.

Yui sighed. She reached for her coffee that she neglected on the center table. She sipped it for a few seconds before opening up a new topic. She obviously got Daichi's message loud and clear.

"How was everyone then?"she asked. "I'm sure your former team have a lot going on. I mean, Hinata-kun just came back from _Brazil_."she said chuckling to herself.

Daichi returned the laugh, "Yeah, you're right. Nishinoya is in Italy as of now, according to Asahi. He's circling the world."

"Nishinoya-kun always seemed like the free spirit. He isn't bound in one place."Yui smiled.

Daichi nodded with a small smile, "Yeah."he said. "Ennoshita is a successful physical therapist. And Tanaka! You know he's married to Shimi-I mean, Kiyoko."he laughed. "Wow, who would have ever thought he was the first one to get married."

Yui smiled and again sipper her coffee. "Its good to hear them happy..."

Daichi sighed a breath of relief, "Yeah..."

Both adults jumped at the sudden ringtone that filled the house. Daichi's phone shook on the table. Daichi frowned and immediately reached for it. He saw a text from Asahi and quietly read it.

Daichi swallowed a lump that formed in his throat. He gave a glance at Yui who was curiously looking at him.

"Who was it?"Yui asked.

"Asahi. He was asking if I wanted to go get a drink..."Daichi answered, fingers flying to the bridge of his nose and forehead.

They were both silent for a moment before Yui spoke up again, "I think you should go."she said as she downed her cup.

"Besides," she stood and Daichi's eyes followed her frame as she set the cup down the sink. She turned to him and smiled, "You look like you need a drink."

Yui's own phone dinged. Daichi figured it was her husband by the way Yui smiled.

"I have to go too. Dinner is almost done at home."

"I'll see you out."Daichi said as he stood up.

As Yui stood outside the door, she gave a sympathetic glance to Daichi. She didn't say anything but she pulled Daichi in a short hug before releasing with a pat.

When she has left, Daichi took in the silence of his home. He sighed and glanced at his phone. He typed a quick, _I'm coming_ to reply to Asahi.

A sigh resonated in the house as Daichi went up to dress up.

~~~

"Daichi!"

Asahi was already there, wearing a simple red shirt and jeans. He was sitting on the chair on the bar counter table, drink in hand as he waved over for Daichi to come over. Reluctantly, he made his way over. Asahi greeted him with a smile and pushed a glass to him. Compared to where they were last Saturday, the music in the bar now was quite mellow, enough to hold a conversation without screaming into each other's ear.

"Hey, Asahi..."he said, sitting down next to him.

Asahi frowned, "Is today a bad day? I knew I shouldn't have picked a weekda-"

"No, no. It's fine."Daichi dismissed it.

"Are you sure?"

Daichi chuckled, "It's true, you could have chosen a better day but..."he examined the glass Asahi pushed towards him, "...I guess i just needed a drink too."he downed the glass immediately.

He looked around the bar and saw that it wasn't overly crowded and the songs are actually pretty good. The bartender passed their side, giving Daichi a nod while he was mixing some drinks for other customers.

"It's been so long hasn't it?"Asahi said with a chuckle. "So, what's been happening to you, Captain MIA?"

Daichi smiled sheepishly, a hand at the back of his head. "I really am sorry. I needed-uhm...I just..."

Asahi laughed, "It's okay, Daichi, you don't owe us anything. We're just teasing you. But we would love for you to reply to us once in a while."he said truthfully. "But seriously, how are you?"

"Fine as I can be. I'm working six times a week. My workplace isn't so bad and you know Miyagi is a fairly peaceful place. There's no major crime on a daily basis."

Asahi nodded. "It is peaceful here. I always miss it, you know. And honestly, Daichi, your job suits you perfectly."

Daichi laughed at the comment, everyone who knew him in his life was saying the exact same thing about his work, "Everyone I know said the same thing."he laughed. Then he smiled, "So, how are you? How's life in Tokyo?"Daichi asked.

"Oh, I'm doing great actually. I climbed up enough for me to take these break for a few days." Asahi smiled. "It's just sometimes I miss Miyagi and the calmness here."

"Wow, congrats then!"Daichi said, beaming at Asahi. Then the smile suddenly turned more taunting, "On another note, how are you and Noya?"

Asahi's eyes narrowed at Daichi's teasing. "There is nothing going on between us atleast not right no—"

"I beg to disagree."Daichi patted Asahi's shoulder. "I can see it, Asahi. You can't fool me like that."Daichi chuckled sadly. "I can't fool you either I guess."

Asahi fixed the glasses on his face. He took note of the sudden change in the atmosphere. He nodded to Daichi. "Yes." he agreed.

He could feel the other's stare to him as he played with the glass. He had hinted enough and he was so sure Asahi knew why he was acting this way. Daichi asked for two more glasses and drank both of them immediately.

"Sugawara seems to be happy, right?"Asahi started, drinking his own. His voice gave the impression of walking on shards of glass: _cautious_.

Daichi stiffened, "Yeah. I hope so."he mutters.

"Do you run into him here in Miyagi? I mean, you're in one place anyway."

Daichi shook his head, "Surprisingly, we don't see each other often. In fact, we don't see each other at all."

Asahi rotated his glass in his hand as he gave Daichi a scrutinizing look. "Why?"

Daichi didn't answer for a moment. He took in a deep breath and drank what was still in his glass. He was surprised at himself, really. He couldn't stop himself though. He wanted to drink it all away. Maybe, he could stop the flashing of familiar brown eyes filled with longing, staring back at him. He raised two fingers to get two more glasses.

Asahi's eyes widened, "Hey, Daichi, slow down."he said. "Have you eaten alrea-"

"It was too painful."

Daichi gripped his glass and stared at nothing, just feeling the way Asahi was staring at him at his side. A tug in his chest made him down once again another glass. He groaned at the burn in his throat that he suddenly just felt now.

"I couldn't stand to see him. So, I did my best to work as far away from he school he works for."Daichi continued. "Sometimes I would take the most crowded buses home because I know he would never get on a bus like that. I also do groceries normally early in the morning and I only take patrols from the opposite side of his home."

Daichi smiled bitterly, "I really made an effort not to see him."

Asahi has his mouth slightly open, drink in hand and eyes wide. Daichi had refused to talk about him and Suga before. Asahi blames the alcohol for that. It had only been a few minutes and Daichi has already drank three glasses. And he was still getting more.

Daichi always knew how to handle his alcohol but maybe, he was on a breaking point to be drinking this hard.

"I didn't want to see him."Daichi muttered into his glass. "Atleast, that's what I told myself."

Asahi frowned, "But what do you really feel?"

Daichi froze, his body stiff and Asahi saw his fingers grip the glass tighter. "God..."he heard Daichi mutter under his breath. Suddenly, he inhaled sharply before releasing it.

" _I miss him._ "

Asahi felt a pang in his heart at the raw emotion in his friend's voice. Daichi sounded so...helpless. It was like he was fighting something for so long and he was so worn out. It sounded so unlike Daichi himself.

Daichi looked up as he finished the glass. He laughed in a way that seemed to tell Asahi how pathetic Daichi thought of himself at the moment.

"I miss him. I miss so much that it reall-"Daichi let out a dark laugh. "It hurts."he said shooting a sympathetic Asahi a simple look that almost made Asahi reach out for his friend.

"Can you believe it? I miss him but I have no right to miss him. I have no right."Daichi said dejectedly. Asahi saw Daichi drop the glass and grip the corners of the counter top. "I let him go. He gave me a chance but I surrendered so quickly. I didn't call after three days and he left." Daichi splurted out.

Asahi stayed silent but he was brimming with confusion. He knew so little of what happened to his two friends and why their relationship had suddenly ended one summer. He desperately wanted to ask, but he didn't want to destroy the train of thoughts Daichi was having.

It turns out he didn't need to.

"I'm sorry if I'm going to say all this to you, Asahi but..."Daichi stopped. "...please listen."he finished as he looked Asahi in the eyes.

Asahi noted how Daichi's eyes were slightly hazy now and his posture is bent. Also his face had a small reddish color. Signs that the alcohol getting into his system. But what threw Asahi off guard was the emotions swimming in Daichi's eyes. It was as if he was reliving something in his mind and it was something incredibly painful. It made Asahi wonder how long Daichi had suffered from all this? Did he have someone to talk to?

 _It could be me now_ , thought Asahi. He solemnly nodded to Daichi and relief seemed to seep into the man.

Daichi inhaled another deep breath and released it. "Kou-Suga was given a scholarship to a university in Tokyo right before our third year in college, right?"Asahi gave nod, he did remember that Suga changed schools.

Daichi was now gripping the edge again, "It was a good university. A great opportunity. But he..."he laughed humourlessly. "He said he would rather stay here in Miyagi. And...I was so happy that was his decision. I didn't want him to go."

"Then why did he?"

"Because I told him to."

Daichi held his head as he stared ahead again, chuckling lowly and without humor. The sound felt so out of life.

"I couldn't deny it was a big opportunity for him. I didn't want to ever hold him back. His own mother also wanted me to convince him to accept the scholarship. So, I..."he yet again downed another glass. "...I did."

Daichi dropped his head on the counter-top. His hands on either side of his head still holding an empty glass. "I just...I just thought it would be for the best...I thought it would be for his best. God, I was so wrong, Asahi!"

Asahi cannot stop himself as he reached out for Daichi, "What happened, Daichi?"he said softly.

"I tried breaking up with him."Daichi blurted out. He gripped his hair. "I tried to break up with him." his voice audibly broke.

The moment Daichi turned, Asahi could see every emotion written on is face. The regret, loneliness, and pain were mashed together. Asahi turned to grip his own chest lightly. Daichi had tears in his eyes and they were threatening to spill over.

"But he always sees through me, Asahi."Daichi said, rubbing his reddened nose. "He saw that I really didn't want to and he got so angry, that I didn't know what to do. We had a huge fight. We—I said things and he—I...oh, god."he placed his trembling hands on top of his mouth, a tear rolling down his face.

"I hurt him. I hurt him so much."

Asahi's own eyes teared up at the sight of Sawamura Daichi crying. Tears had finally rolled freely down his cheeks. Three years worth of silent pain was hiding inside the man in front of him and finally he was letting it all show. There was more to the story and Asahi knew it but this was probably all Daichi can say now.

He cried for a few minutes and Asahi stayed silent, but he placed a hand on his friend's shoulder to calm his shaking form. Daichi was crying so silently that no one would probably notice at one glance.

"Suga said that he would change his mind if I called in three days. If he didn't recieve any calls he would think I had given up...and I didn--"Daichi rubbed his face. "I didn't call back."

"He left after a few days."he continued when he got his self back. "We never got into contact again. I don't even know why he works here. He should have stayed in Tokyo and got a better job. Why is he here?!"Daichi asked to no one in particular.

Daichi shook his head violently, tears starting up again. "The only thing that made me think I didn't make the wrong decision was the belief that Suga was happy with his life. I honestly thought he was and I always remind myself...I—can live with the thought that he was happy...right?"

"I wanted to call him back. I wanted him to stay. I wanted him back, Asahi. But I always reminded myself that he was happy. He was happy without me and I didn't want to ruin that...but last Saturday...he--he was..."

Daichi drank two shot glasses in one go, the action resembled someone trying to distract their attention. He wiped his eyes but the tears won't stop falling anymore. Asahi tightened his hold on Daichi's shoulder, as if attempting to pass some of strength. Daichi continued muttering words but most of them were incomprehensible anymore and were just repeating the same things over and over.

Asahi could see that Daichi is definitely wasted already, but he could only do so much as he watched Daichi take out his phone.

"Daichi...slow down. You're already drunk."Asahi tried to stop him. "You still have to get home."he reminded Daichi. But the other was too intoxicated to think properly.

Asahi's eyes widened, "Daichi, stop!"but his words feel on deaf ears, Daichi was already calling Sugawara Koushi.

  
  
~~~

How Daichi still knew his number was beyond him. He had deleted it from his phone, but it seems that his mind hadn't. He was typing the numbers he knew by heart and pressed the call button. Daichi wasn't even sure if that was still his number but he was drunk enough to not think about it.

Daichi played with the rim of the shot glass as he listened to the ringing in his ears. He vaguely heard Asahi's voice and focused on his phone, dreading and longing to hear the voice he missed so much. The ringing was going on for a little over a minute that Daichi was starting to think maybe it wasn't his number anymore, until...

 _"H-Hello?"_ the static sound distorting the greeting.

Daichi's breath hitched. It was still his number, after all those years. All the words he wanted to say was forgotten. His head was already pounding and he was suddenly acutely aware of the alcohol-induced heat on his ears and neck. He didn't respond--couldn't respond to Sugawara.

So, instead he said, "Hello?"

 _"Daichi?"_ Suga called out again, his voice laced with confusion and another emotion that Daichi wasn't in the right mind to place. Daichi involuntarily closed his eyes at the sound of his name again. _"D-do you need anything?"_

"K-kou--Suga..."Daichi stuttered, lidded eyes glancing over to Asahi who now leaned back and watched Daichi.

Shuffling could be heard in the background and a few seconds passed before Sugawara's voice was heard again. _"Daichi...are you...drunk?"_ he hesitantly asked.

Daichi shook his head before he stupidly remembered Suga couldn't see from his phone. "No! I mean I'm had a few drinks but I'm no—" he groaned at the pulsing in his head. "—not drunk."

Silence. Then, _"You're drunk calling me."_ Suga said it as a statement and not a question. _"Daichi, you should probably head home. I'm putting this down now."_

"NO, WAIT! Koushi!" Daichi practically screamed in the phone, receding back to Sugawara's first name in his panic. Asahi was immediately at his side. "Just listen to what I have to say...please. You don't— _hic—_ have to say anything. Just...please." Daichi begged, a hiccup escaping in the middle.

 _"Daichi...you haven—"_ An exasperated sigh was heard from the other side. _"You have to go home now. Who are you with? Are you alon—"_

"I miss you."Daichi blurted. He can't control his own mouth, the words he had always wanted to say that sometimes he just want to scream them out. "Koushi...I—I miss you. I miss you so much. Seeing you last Saturday...I can't even begin to explain what it felt like. And I am so sorry. God! I'm sorry that I'm still calling you like this. But I miss you so, so much, Koushi." Tears dripped into the counter top and hands curled into fists, gripping his phone tightly next to his ear.

Static. Silence. _"Daichi..."_

"You don't have to say anything...just listen to me."Daichi said. He cleared his throat. "You--you gave me a chance and I blew it. Koushi. Everyday...I wished I had called you in those three days. You gave me three days, right? And I—I still let you go.

And— _hic—_ I still hate myself. I still hate myself for letting you go. For not chasing you when I knew you wanted me to. I wanted to chase you and I still do. But...fuck!"Daichi exclaimed. He banged his gust lightly on the counter top. He still hadn't stopped crying. But despite being drunk and crying profusely, his voice was as clear as day when he said,

" _I love you, Koushi._ "

Daichi's fist was now in his chest. "I still love you so much. I love you so much, Koushi, that it hurts. It hurts because I was the reason you're not with me. I was the reason we're not together. It was all my fault. I should have been chasing you, Koushi. I never even got to tell you that you were all that ever mattered to me." Daichi fisted his shirt, his lidded eyes struggled to stay open but tears still poured down from them.

 _"Where are you?"_ Suddenly Sugawara's voice came from the other side. His own voice sounding heavy with emotion.

But Daichi was too intoxicated and emotional to understand. He continued muttering stuff like _i'm sorry and i love you._

 _"Dai...please!_ " Daichi stopped when he heard the emotion in Sugawara's voice. Desperation was heard loud and clear that Daichi stopped his muttering. _"Tell me where you are..."_

Daichi only shook his head violently before saying, "Why?"

 _"I'm coming to see you, you idiot!"_ Sugawara's voice broke. He sounds like he had been crying. _"I want to see you, Daichi. And you can say all that to my face."_

Daichi froze silent as he heard the sobs from the receiver. "Kou—"

 _"You are so unfair, Dai. How can you do this? You call me after three years, say all those stupid shit, and all while you're drunk?"_ Sugawara cried. _"You are so unfair."_

Pain stabbed Daichi as he listened. It was getting very hard to breathe and Daichi doesn't know if it's because of all that alcohol or from the built-up hurt in Sugawara's voice.

_"The moment you finally called, after three years, and you...you called me while you were drunk."_

Daichi gaped. The pain in his chest grew and for a moment, he thought he stopped breathing completely. The tears halted through his shock. Everything stopped.

And when time started running again, everything crashed down all at once.

_"I—please...I have to see you now. You stupid dumbass!"_

Daichi had no time to internalize what Suga just said because he panicked to know where they were. He turned his head around but he was caught suddenly by nausea so he stopped moving but answered. "I don't know where we ar—"

"The pub Suga and I used to hang out on."Asahi answered for him. Daichi almost forgot that Asahi was with him. "Tell him that."he said.

Daichi didn't need to. Sugawara probably heard Asahi becuase all Daichi can hear on his end was the wind and the faint clanking of keys.

 _"You are an absolute moron, Sawamura Daichi."_ Suga' voice said again. _"I'm on my way...and I am going to beat your ass, you idiot."_

Despite his state, the statement made Daichi chuckle emotionally. Tears were still dripping down his face but a small smile can be seen on his face even when the call was dropped. He drank the the last shot glass and when he did, his head dropped on the table at the sudden nausea that onslaught him.

"Daichi!"Asahi exclaimed. But he stopped when he saw Daichi chuckling while tears poured out from his eyes. Daichi looked like a madman probably but he doesn't give a shit. Instead, he remembered a famous line Sugawara and him always say...

"So cliche..."he whispered before all went black. 

~~~

Daichi stirred as he heard voices talking around him. He didn't even remember falling asleep but his mind was still pounding and his senses are all hazy. It was like he was in a trance. He briefly wondered if all of what's happening now was something he'll still remember tomorrow.

"Are you sure, Suga?" That was Asahi...

"Yeah. Just let me handle it." Daichi twitched at the sound of that voice. "I'll just take him home, Asahi."Suga said harder.

Daichi bolted upright. He looked around until he saw the familiar hazel eyes that he loved. It was as if Suga and Asahi froze when he came to. He gaped and again, tears formed in his own dark brown eyes. He was surprised to see those tears reflected in the other's.

"You're really here." he whispered in disbelief.

Sugawara came closer and karate-chopped Daichi's pounding head. Daichi yelped at the sudden pain from his head. He looked up bewildered at Suga but he was surprised at what he saw.

His tears barely contained in his eyes. He didn't say anything. Instead, he took his keys, turned his back to Daichi and looked at Asahi.

"Can you carry him over to my car. Please."he said quietly but enough to heard by both men. Daichi barely heard it at all though. There was a ringing in his ears that he knew didn't sound very good.

Everything else was blur after that. He knows that Asahi did help him get into Sugawara's car, but his drifting attention only seemed to go back again and again to Sugawara himself. He tried following Suga's line of sight but the other man just avoided his eyes.

"Thank you, Asahi."Daichi heard Sugawara's voice. "I'm just going to take him home."

"Will you guys really be okay? Will you be okay, Suga?"

"I don't know." A humorless chuckle. "But I never was one to have self-restraint..."

"Suga..."

"I'll be fine, Asahi. Daichi will be too. I won't do anything stupid." Another chuckle. "Not that there is nothing more stupid as coming here. God, I can already hear _Yaku-kun_ scolding me."

Daichi groaned as he felt like hurdling his stomach out. This probably caught the attention of both men as they said their goodbyes to each other. Daichi was sure there was more of it but he couldn't even move his head to the side due to his dizziness.

The next thing he knew, Sugawara was already driving next to him. To an outsider, they would consider it silent but it was absolutely deafening to Daichi. He sat there, trying to remain sober whilst being only a few inches away from the love of his life.

He opened his mouth to speak despite his better judgement but Sugawara beat him to it.

"Don't you dare throw up in my car, Daichi."

Daichi instantly snapped his head to look at the other man. Eyes wide and mouth agape; of all the words he could have said, he chose to scold him. He couldn't help the titter that escaped him, and soon enough it bloomed into full-blown laughter.

"What are you laughing about?!"Sugawara asked, completely astounded.

Daichi continued laughing in his seat hysterically. Both men knew he wasn't normally like this, but it was just proof that the alcohol was getting to him now. It was because of this that Daichi hadn't realized the bittersweet smile on Suga's face.

Daichi calmed down after a few minutes but his eyes were more lidded now. He turned his attention to the window and took in the familiar route of his way home. He saw Sugawara in the reflection of the mirror, so he turned to look at him fully.

"You're still as stunning as ever, Koushi."

Sugawara slowly closed his eyes as he heaved a deep breath, and opened it as he released it. He promptly ignored Daichi. A clear sign that that he didn't really wanna talk. Unfortunately for him, drunk Daichi wasn't very good at reading signals.

So, he started talking again.

No one ever anticipated Daichi to be the talkative drunk. But here he was, literally saying everything that comes to mind.

Daichi's intoxicated mind kept saying all that comes to mind. He barely remembers what he said in last few seconds but he really didn't give any mind. He just continued saying all he wanted to say. It was rather repetitive.

However, he didn't notice was how hard Suga was gripping the steering wheel. And how tears were now flowing down his face. The words that has been kept inside Daichi for so long; words of _'i love you's'_ and _'im sorry's'_ were finally being released and his emotions are all over the place.

But Sugawara still hasn't had that luxury.

Daichi soon came somewhat back to his senses when he felt the car pull over. He barely remembered getting inside his own house.

He did, however, remember the way Sugawara held him to help him inside.

He also remembered one moment where their eyes met again. Hazel and chocolate eyes reflecting so many unspoken emotions that neither wanted to bring up immediately.

They stumbled through the house and into the living room. The house echoed with their footsteps and soft grunts of exertion. The next thing he knew, he was laying on his couch, body slumped and eyes closed. His head was pounding and his eyes felt so puffy. His ears really felt like they were burning and his body felt incredibly numb.

He stayed like that for a few moments, calming his own body and trying to regain his senses until he heard a sound of keys and some receding footsteps.

He forced himself to open his eyes, only to see Sugawara walking towards the door. Daichi scrambled up, he wobbled his way towards the other man.

"Koushi."he called drowsily. His footsteps were wobbly, he needed something to hold onto for support. "Koushi wai-- _oomph_." His knees buckled so he threw himself on the nearest wall to soften his fall.

"Daichi!" Sugawara's concerned voice filled his senses. His voice got louder as he neared. "What the hell were you thinking?! You can't even walk straight! You could have bumped your head somewhere!"

His words weren't given any mind by Daichi. He just really didn't want Suga to leave. And nothing was more important than that to Daichi right now.

"Koushi, don't lea-- _hic--_ leave."he whsipered. " _Don't leave me again._ "

Sugawara visibly trembled. He didn't say a word and just helped Daichi to his feet. They both staggered their way into the couch again.

Daichi was grabbing on Koushi's shirt. "Don't. Just stay here, Koushi." he muttered.

Sugawara struggled to place Daichi down the couch as the man refused to let him go. Daichi held them tight in his hands and latched onto him desperately.

"Dai..."Suga raised his head to stop tears from flowing. He needed to get out of the house, _fast._

Sugawara held Daichi's wrist and tugged them so that he would release him but the other man simply pulled him down with him on the sofa.

Suga stopped struggling momentarily as his eyes met Daichi's in an intense stare.

This time, they stared into each other longer as Sugawara layed on top of Daichi. They were both unmoving, _frozen and rigid_. They searched each others eyes and all they emotions they were so scared to let go. In that moment, Daichi felt as if he was back to he times where he and Sugawara were still together. The longer he stared at those hazel orbs, the more he felt lost in it. It was as if the last three years never happened, and instead they both relished at the fact they were here; together.

Daichi doesn't remember how it happened, but next thing he knew his lips were pressed Sugawara's.

_And it was indescribable._

It was just a soft touch of skin, but it felt so raw and so powerful and gentle, all at the same time. Daichi felt his musles relax simultaneously as he somehow melted into the kiss. It held so many emotions, Daichi had trouble finding the names for them. _Longing...relief...sadness...love?_

It was all too much...

_Especially for Sugawara..._

Daichi watched as Sugawara stumbled back, one hand covering his mouth and the other was over his chest. He was breathing heavily, as if on a verge of a panic attack. His eyes were glistening with unshed tears and they looked so livid. Guilt was the first thing Daichi felt.

He grabbed his keys and took his first few steps but he was stopped by Daichi's hand on his wrist. His chocolate eyes filled with panic as he stopped Sugawara from getting out of his grasp again.

"Let go of me!"Sugawara screamed. "Let me go, Daichi!"

Daichi shook his head and only held him tighter. "Koushi..." he pleaded.

Sugawara trashed his arm around. "Let go, Daichi. I'm going home."

Daichi's stomach churned as desperation seemed to seep into him.

"I can't let you go, Koushi. I can't. I love y--"

Daichi gasped as he was suddenly pushed violently. He dropped on the floor with a loud thud. He momentarily found that he was near the kitchen now. He groaned at the sharp pain from his rear for a moment before he heard really heavy breathing. He looked up to see Sugawara standing there, looking down at him.

Tears were cascading down his face. He looked the same way as he was at that particular fight three years ago that Daichi held his chest tightly. Sugawara was angry; deeply and hauntingly hurt. Daichi felt tears spring into his eyes as Sugawara furiously wiped his eyes but it was no use the drops on the floor echoed around the house.

Daichi scrambled to his feet and leaned into the wall behind him for support, his eyes never leaving Sugawara, whose mental strength was slowly weakening.

Instantly, Sugawara crossed the distance between them and grabbed the front of Daichi's shirt. His face were suddenly closer to the other's. "You can't let me go? You love me?!" Daichi heard the crack in his voice. "Is that what you were going to say?!"

Sugawara's face contorted as all the pain finally overflowed, "Bullshit!"he screamed as he shook his hold on Daichi's shirt.

Daichi wanted to close his eyes as he heard the pain in his voice, but he couldn't. Instead he stared into furious hazel eyes as he watched the man fall apart in a more violent way than he did.

"I waited for you, Daichi! I waited for you. Even at the last second, _I waited_. I wanted you to _fucking call me!_ " Sugawara punched his chest at every sentence. " _I wanted to stay._ I didn't want to go and you knew that. You knew that, Dai! I wanted to stay here with you, with my mom, with _everything I grew up with!_ I never wanted to leave. But you gave up on us, you gave up because you wanted me to take the stupid scholarship." Sugawara sobbed as he punched through his tears.

"I thought you would call me; that you'd change your mind. That's why I suggested those three days in the first place. But you didn't call, Daichi! _You didn't!_ " Both men were crying at this point. Both were overly emotional to do anything else than to release it all.

Sugawara let himself cry before he laughed humorlessly and he looked deeply into Daichi's eyes. "It's been three years, Daichi. And I—I'm still waiting. I'm still waiting for anything that I could get from you. _How utterly pathetic is that?_ " he cried. "Everytime I think of you, it feels like my heart is being ripped out. And when I finally tried to get myself back on my feet, you make your move?! And what's worse, look at you, you're _drunk!_ Fuck you, Daichi, that's just so unfair." his voice broke as he gave another punch to Daichi's chest.

Sugawara was strong for his size and every punch really hurts but hearing all this, all his fears of what Sugawara was feeling made his body numb to any exterior pain anymore. He was just filled with regret of letting this suffering go on any further.

"I hate it! I hate you! I hate you, Daichi! I hate that you make me feel like this! I hate that you're such a fucking coward. I hate that I was really still hoping for a call; hoping for you. I hate it— _I hate you._ "Sugawara cried. The fight slowly deflating from the silver haired man.

_"I hate how I can still love you even when it hurts so much, Daichi."_

Daichi couldn't resist pulling the man close; hugging him as he softly punched Daichi. He listened to the rhythmic beat of Sugawara's heart against his as the man practically melted in his hold.

They both sink down to the floor.

"I hate you...I really really do."Suga muttered. "I-I...need..."he trailed off and just sobbed into Daichi. His cries filled the house, echoed their way into Daichi's memory.

Daichi closed his eyes as he buried the lower half of his face on Suga's hair. He pulled the man tighter and let his tears drip down.

"I know. I know and I'm so sorry, Kou."he whispered. "I thought you were happy, but now it just seems that I was just making myself believe that."

Sugawara made no signs that he was listening, he just continued crying it all out.

"I love you, Koushi. And I never stopped and I probably never could." Daichi cried, holding the other tighter. "And I'll always be sorry for all this. I'm not going to ask for your forgiveness. I--I don't deserve it anyway."

Sugawara stilled at that statement. His cries halted as he pushed himself of the embrace. He looked into Daichi's eyes, soft tears still cascading down.

Daichi looked down and sobbed. He was whispering apologies under his breath. He barely felt the gentle hands holding his chin to lift his head back up until his eyes made contact to hazel orbs again.

Daichi didn't understand the emotions passing through Suga's eyes but it felt like Suga was into his mode of reckless abandon, which would make sense for the next actions the said man was going to make.

Once again, the same softness pressed into Daichi's lips. This time it was more passionate than the one moments ago. Daichi felt the beat of their hearts finally beating simultaneously; _fast and loud_.

They poured all their emotions into it. _The loneliness and regret_. The pain of forcing themselves to stay away for too long. They couldn't erase what had happened but that didn't matter as the two focused on conveying the emotions no words could ever describe. And each beat of their hearts were a countdown until the gaping hole in Daichi was completely and utterly _filled_.

They broke apart eventually, just to get some air. They leaned into each other and no words were needed as they lost themselves in the other's hold. Soon enough. Daichi kissed him again; holding the back of Suga's head closer and burying his hand in his silver hair.

A few seconds later, Sugawara suddenly remembered that Daichi was still under the influence of alcohol. Sugawara pulled away from the kiss.

"Daichi, you're drunk."he whispered in a coarse voice. "Let's get you to the couch."

That's when Daichi felt it all again. The pounding in his head and the dull burning of his ears. He's also lightheaded. But he scampered to his feet and Sugawara helped him up.

But despite his condition, he couldn't take his eyes of off Sugawara. They made their way back to the living room, in which Daichi slumped back on. His gaze still fell heavily on the other man, as he fixed the throw pillows for Daichi to lay on.

"Koushi..."he called.

Sugawara wiped his face, and turned his head a little, but he refused to look at Daichi again. It seems like his state of impulsiveness simmered down along with his uncontrollable emotions. He didn't answer Daichi.

Sugawara made Daichi lay on the couch once he fixed the pillows. Daichi felt uncomfortable with his phone in his pocket as it was digging to his hip. He pulled it out and placed it in the coffee table. He groaned as the small action made his vision swirl.

"Koushi..."he called again, eyes closed because he felt like throwing up.

This time, Suga's voice answered. "What?"

"I'm sorry."

" _I know_."

"I love you."

" _I know_."

Daichi opened his eyes slightly to look at Sugawara's form that was looking down. "Don't go, please."

Suga looked back up at him, his puffy eyes still glistening with tears. "Only if you won't let me go this time."

" _I won't._ "

Suddenly, he was onslaught with drowsiness until he can't really open his eyes well. But he can't fall to sleep until Suga says he wasn't leaving. _He refused to fall to sleep_.

Suga seemed to sense that resolve in Daichi. "Sleep, Daichi. I'm not going anywhere." Sugawara whispered.

Daichi visibly relaxed at that affirmation. Soon enough, he let himself rest his body and mind as he succumbed himself to sleep. The last thing he remembers was the a hand on the side of his face and Suga's soft voice saying incomprehensible words.

~~~

Daichi did not know what to expect the next morning, but he certainly wasn't expecting the toothy grin of Shiro's face in front of him.

He jumped in surprise, springing out of the couch. Then, the horrible _horrible_ headache erupted in him that he unconsciously groaned.

He heard a light giggle as Shiro sat beside him. "Did I scare you, Daichi-san?"

Daichi nodded despite the pain, "Yes, Shiro-kun. You scared me."

"Shiro! Stop pestering Daichi-san. He needs rest."A voice scolded the little boy.

"But mommy, he just got scared of me."Shiro countered. "I didn't do anything!"

Then, Yui emerged from the kitchen holding a coffee mug and a glass of water. She was giving Shiro a look that made the little kid lower his head in dismay.

Daichi at her in confusion, holding his head to relieve the pain. He doesn't remember being with Yui last night.

Last night...

_What the hell happened last night?_

"Sawamura..."Yui called. He raised his head as she gave him the glass of water. "Drink this."

Daichi accepted it and said a brief _thank you_. He drank the water and reveled in the relief it brought to his dry throat.

"Shiro...can you go play over there for a while, please?"Daichi heard Yui ask the boy.

"So, you and Daichi-san can talk?"Shiro asked.

"Yes, baby." Yui said.

"Okay!"Shiro grabbed his volleyball that Daichi hadn't noticed and went to a corner. "Sorry for scaring you awake, Daichi-san!"

Daichi smiled at the kid while scrubbing his eyes and fighting the impending nausea. "It's okay, Shiro...just don't break anything."

And with that Shiro was off, leaving Daichi with Yui who was obviously staring him down. Daichi moved to place the glass on the table but almost doubled over when his whole world spinned. Luckily, Yui was there to help him out and made him lean back to the couch.

"You know, I did tell you to have a drink but not to this extent." Yui said amusedly.

Daichi groaned in pain. He couldn't even register what Yui was saying completely as he was dealing with this hangover.

_"...I hate you..."_

He opened his eyes at the sudden memory. When his eyes hit that one spot near the kitchen where he saw the love of his life break down into tiny little pieces; where he got to hold him again and kisse—

_Daichi was so screwed._

He bolted upright as the memories of last night came back to him. How he even forgot in the first place was beyond himself. Panic and overwhelming emotions welled from his gut that his hangover was such a small deal now.

"Oh, god...wha—what did I do?"Daichi whispered, his hand on his mouth. "Koushi...he was here. _Where is he, Yui?_ "

"Hey. Hey!" Yui called him. She aligned her face to Daichi's eyesight. "Calm down. You need to rest. You obviously can't come to work today so I already called one of your workmates, Okita-san. So, right now you need to rest."

Daichi shook his head but stopped immediately as the pain spiked up. He wasn't thinking about work. He was worried about one silver haired male. "You don't understand, Yui. Sugawara was here, h-he brought me home. He— _oh god_ —I screwed up. Why did I d—"

Yui stretched out her hand and placed it comfortingly on his shoulder, "I know, Sawamura." Yui said gently.

Daichi turned to her, "You know?"

"I visited last night just as Sugawara-san was going home. He told me briefly what happened and you were also muttering in your sleep."

Daichi stared at Yui, still in obvious distress. But, Yui still wasn't finished.

"He..."she reached into her pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. "...asked me to give this to you when you woke up and asked me about him."

Daichi stared at the paper, then back to Yui. The adrenaline he had when he was overcomed by panic was gone and back was the pain on his head and the urge to throw up.

Nonetheless, Daichi hesistantly took the paper fron Yui. It was folded hastily, as if Sugawara was in a hurry.

Daichi opened it to find a phone number. He frowned and turned it over, to see a single sentence. 

_Call me in this number if you still want me to stay..._  
  
  


Daichi glazed his fingers on the familiar handwriting. He honestly didn't know what to feel. He didn't even know what to think. _Daichi doesn't even understand why he would leave another phone number when he clearly answered his old one._ He didn't know what to do but he was suddenly gripped with unquestionable _fear_. Daichi suddenly remembered the entirety of their conversation where Sugawara basically broke down; where all of Daichi's worst nightmares that Sugawara was hurting the same as he, all came true. And then, the kiss. _Oh, god..._ kissing him again was absolutely mind-breaking in itself.

Daichi feels as if his soul flew out of his body. There just was no other way to describe as memories of last night and the truth that lay in his hands. But, the thought of being given another chance, a chance to screw up all over again and hurt Sugawara all over again, was overwhelming in on itself.

"Sawamura..." Yui called in a tone that grounded Daichi.

Daichi closed his eyes and calmed himself. It was embarrassing enough for Yui and Shiro to see him with a hangover, but to see him break down at the thought of Sugawara giving him another chance, that was just over the top.

So, he forced a smile at Yui's direction. "I'm sorry for letting you see me like this, Yui. I'm just gonna go clear my head."he said as he struggled to stand up.

"Sawamura."Yui called again, but this time her voice held a sort of sternness. "Call him."

Daichi stopped in his tracks. "What?"

"Do you still love him?" She asked, standing up next to him. She looked straight into his eyes in a familiar way. Daichi realized it was the same look he gave to his teammates back in Karasuno. The look where you are forced to tell the truth. 

Daichi gulped. "Yes."he admitted. "I love him, so, so bad."

Yui sighed at that and held both of Daichi's shoulders, "I know you, Sawamura. You're going to go in there and ruminate over what you're supposed to do. Which is what I would say you did three years ago."

Daichi wanted to protest but it died down in his throat as he considered what she said. _All of it was entirely true._ He looked down in shame.

"I know that, because... _that's_ _the man you've been since Sugawara-san left._ "

Daichi snapped his head up at that, eyes wide in disbelief. He struggled to believe what he just heard for the woman. He ignored the nausea that hit him as he did so.

Yui frowned at him, "You've been so unsure of every move you make. You have been overthinking every single thing you do. The Sawamura I knew years ago, the one who said that we shouldn't ever, _ever,_ say to ourselves that we don't stand a chance, was taken by Sugawara when he left."

Daichi didn't know what to say, he opened and closed his mouth, just like a fish. And he realized that Yui was right. She was right, he wasn't what he once was.

"Sugawara is here. He's willing to come back to you." Yui pressed on. "Are you going to let that go again? Are you seriously going to let him go again with another part of you?"

Daichi fell back down on the couch. He held his head on his hands as traitorous tears fell from his eyes. He sobbed into his palm as the weight of Yui's words sunk deep into him. When had he started becoming like this? When had he become a hypocrite who couldn't heed his own words?

_When had he become like such a coward?_

"What the hell am I doing?"Daichi whispered as he wiped his tears, not really looking for an answer.

Yui sat beside him and placed her head on his shoulder offering comfort as she said the words she had always wanted to say to the man. For a few seconds, nobody said anything and the only sound there was was from the _thump_ of Shiro's volleyball hitting the wall every so often.

Suddenly, Shiro emerged from the other room and took in the sight of a red-eyed Daichi and his mother comforting him. He dropped the volleyball and came closer to the two.

"Why are you crying, Daichi-san?"Shiro asked but there was a hint of remorse on his face.

Yui eyed him suspiciously, but Daichi just gave him a chuckle and answered, "Because I'm lonely, Shiro-kun."

Shiro frowned, "Is it because of a boy? Su-ga-wa-ra--san?"he said every syllable slowly.

Yui gasped, "Shiro!"she scolded having realized that he overheard the conversation. "You shouldn't listen to other people's conversations."

"I'm sorry, mommy, but you speaking so loud and I still heard even though I focused on volleyball."

"That's not an excuse!"

Daichi, however, just gave Shiro a sad smile. "Yes."

Despite the sad reply, Shiro beamed happily. He sat next to Daichi-san scooting his own mother over to make space for him. Yui huffed in indignation as she was pushed aside by her own son. But, she didn't get to scold the boy as he already started talking.

"You know, I didn't like mommy very well before."he said surprising the two adults. "I was angry at her and I was very mean. I didn't like her around and I always hated how dad left me with her. But when I spent more time with mommy I realized..."he trailed off.

Shiro smiled sheepishly, "...that I was just lonely because my mama is gone and my dad is always at work."

Daichi didn't know the importance of this story but he listened intently. He spare a small glance towards Yui who was slightly tearing up.

"I had seen mommy cry because of me before. She didn't want me to see but I did. When I wasn't mean to her anymore, I asked mommy once why she still stayed with me even though I was so mean. She said to me, if you love someone, you will always forgive them always, no matter what! Or you will always make it up to them in anyway you can!"

Daichi gasped as Shiro held both his hands and smiled. "So, if you love this guy, Daichi-san. You can make it up to him! And if he loves you as much as mommy loves me, then he'll forgive you too! Then you don't have to be lonely anymore!"

Yui burst into tears and took Shiro away from Daichi. She hugged the boy tight and kissed the top of his head; this resulted to Shiro trying to pry her off. Meanwhile, Daichi was stunned at the simple thought that Shiro shared, so he stared into nothingness, listening to the beat of his heart from his pounding head and the words of both mother and son in his mind.

Yui noticed. "Sawamura?"

"Thank you."

Yui's features changed into shock, then she smiled wide as Shiro pulled away from her with a huff of indignation. Those two words held a lot of depth as Daichi told her that. He was and will be forever grateful of Yui and her son for being here with him and bringing him back from his senses

"No problem!"she exclaimed.

A ding on the phone was heard and Yui got her phone out. "Oh no..."she muttered.

"What?" Daichi felt guilt, was he keeping her from other things?

"Oh, don't worry. I just have to take Shiro now to the volleyball camp. It's almost time."she said, slowly standing up.

"We're going? Yey! Oh wait, my bag!"he said and dashed to the other room to get his bag.

Yui and Daichi chuckled at his enthusiasm before Yui turned to Daichi, concerned. "Are you going to be fine?"

Daichi smiled. "For once in three years, I can honestly say that I am."

Yui smiled knowingly, "Now, that's the Sawamura I know!"

"If not for this unbearable headache... _God._ "

"Oh, no! Here take some aspirin!"

"I'm ready! Oh, what's wrong Daichi-san?"

"I'm okay!"

Daichi drank the aspirin and stood up slowly to accompany the mother and son to his own door. Shiro practically skipped the way out while Yui feel into step with Daichi. When they reached the door, Shiro was already outside, all excited and jumping around. Yui chuckled at the sight of her son and turned back to Daichi.

"No matter how formidable and unbeatable your opponent..."Yui started and Daichi was shocked at the familiarity of those words. "...you'll never win if you don't believe you can." 

"Those ar--"

"Your words, yes."Yui said. "You said this once when we were nothing but volleyball team captains trying to win against powerhouse schools. But, we're adults now and sometimes your opponent might be your own fear."

Daichi looked at her, and it was as if he was suddenly awoken. He looked into the sky and released a chuckle, he washed his face with his hands. When he looked back to Yui, he smiled a grateful smile and hugged the woman in front of him. Yui yelped at the sudden show of affection but chuckled into her closest friend as he only held her tighter.

"Thank you...so much."

"You already said that, Sawamura."

"I haven't said it enough."

He let her go and suddenly to take a page on Yui's book and slapped his face on wither side as hard as he could. He felt the stinging in his cheeks and it rejuvenated him.

"Daichi-san!"he heard Shiro's concerned voice.

When he opened his eyes, Yui was staring at him, stunned and amused. She had a mouth on her face and a sort of faraway look in her eyes. 

Daichi gave a smile, "I'm going to be okay, Yui. I'm sorry you had to see me like this."he said. "I'm fine, Shiro-kun."

"Are you sure?"the boy asked.

Daichi smiled then turned to Yui. "I said I'm gonna be fine right? Go now. You're already running late."he said, wholeheartedly despite that horrible headache.

Yui cursed inwardly, "Shiro, let's go!"she called out, taking Shiro's hand in hers. "I'll visit you later, Sawamura. Don't forget to take care of yourself before you do what you need to do, okay?"she said to which Daichi smiled and nodded to. 

Soon enough, Daichi was left standing there, head pounding, throat raw, and cheeks burning; but oddly enough, he was smiling wider than he used to.

He went inside and shut the door. He heaved a deep breath and forced himself not to think of unnecessary things.

"Okay, Daichi...start with small things."he muttered to himself.

He first chose to drink two more glasses of water to hydrate his self. After that, he went upstairs for a shower and new clothes. The rest was now just out of habit. He made breakfast, cleaned his house, and washed the dishes. He took care of himself just as Yui said.

Now, there was no escaping it as he sat on the couch, done with his morning routine and already alleviated his hangover. It was 8:36am by that time.

Daichi took out the note and his phone. Without giving enough time for himself to think, he typed in the digits and brought it to his ear.

Immediately, he heard Sugawara's voice but it was a pre-recorded message for the voicemail. Daichi frowned, maybe he was on the line with someone else? Or maybe he turned it off because he didn't expect that Daichi would still call?

Either way, Daichi wasn't giving up.

_"Hey, I'm kinda busy! Please leave a voicemail!"_

Then, the phone beeped once. Daichi suddenly struggled to find the words. He scrambled up from his seat, rubbing his other hand on his pants.

"Uhm...uh...Kou--Koushi?"he called, seemingly forgetting it was a voicemail and nobody would respond. "Shit...uhm..."he said upon realization.

He moved the phone away from the phone and breathed a deep breath and then released it. He straightened his posture and put the phone back to his ear. "Sorry. I'm freaking out slightly here. Hah! I called, because I wanted to say that..."

His heart was beating so fast, and he could barely breathe but he needed to start getting on what he wants to say. This is where he figured out that the alcohol really did the talking last night.

_"I want you to stay, Koushi."_

He released a breath of relief as he let those out.

"And this time..." Daichi felt his throat become raw, and his voice heavy with emotion. "...this time, I won't let you go."

"I'm calling you now, as sober as I can be, telling you that I want you to stay. I'm telling you that all I said last night, are the things I never got to say to you; and what I always wished I said to you. _Just_...give me another chance and I will make it up to you. Because I—"

Daichi released a laugh while a tear rolled down his cheeks. He realized he had done a lot of crying since last night, but he really didn't care. Because now he got to release what he hid inside himself...

" _I love you, Koushi._ And I'll never let you go again."

Daichi pressed the end voicemail after that. He sat back down on the couch, feeling relieved as he finally did what he had to do. He closed his eyes, reveling on the heat from the ray of sunshine on his face. Feeling sure of himself for the first time in years.

Until his phone dinged as it received a text...

Daichi grabbed it and his breathing stopped to see Sugawara's number again.   
  
  


_Call me again_

_sent_  
_9:02 am_  
  
  


Daichi pressed the call button and tapped his thigh as it bounced. He tried controlling his breathing but failed to do so as he heard the receiver come to life.

" _Daichi..._ "Sugawara's voice called, his voice a little coarse.

"Koushi."Daichi was surprised at the amount of relief his voice expressed. "Did you get the voicemail?"

" _Of course,_ Daichi, that's why I asked you to call again. _"_

Daichi's face burned in embarrassment. "Oh...right...I jus—uhmm..."

Sugawara surprisingly gave a little laugh, " _Relax, Daichi. I listened to it already._ "

Daichi held his breath. "And?"

" _Do you really mean it?_ " the voice sounded so small.

Daichi closed his eyes. "Of course."

A few seconds of silence was garnered and Daichi unconsciously held his breath.

" _Well...it's not gonna be that easy_." Sugawara finally stated, his voice turning hard.

Daichi let out a smile. "I already know that, Koushi."he said.

" _You should_." Sugawara said. " _I won't let it be too easy for you._ "

"And I already said I won't let you go anymore."Daichi replied, knowing that Sugawara was only trying to scare him. He was surprised at his own certainty. "You don't have to scare me off anymore. I'll do whatever it takes to get you back completely."

Sugawara went silent. Soft breathing was the only thing to be heard from the other side.

Daichi also didn't speak. He had said all that he could ever say. He was just waiting for what Sugawara was going to reply.

" _Damn you, Dai. Really...you're a horrible person._ "

Daichi spluttered in his saliva. Sugawara sounded like he was crying. A few hiccups and sniffles were heard.

" _Ahh! You really..._ "Sugawara sniffled again but small laughs were also heard. " _You really have to make it up to me._ "

"I will, Kou."

" _You'll have to be the cheesy suitor. You have to wait for me after work. You have to visit me and give me gifts. You'll also need to pay for every date we go to._ "Sugawara prompted but it was obvious to Daichi that he was already crying by how heavy his voice sounded.

"I'll do anything I can, Koushi. I have three years to cover."Daichi said, his own tears spilling. "I'll do whatever it takes. Just to have you back. I'll even give you flowers everyday."

Sugawara laughed wetly, Daichi could practically hear the break in his voice. " _Flowers?! Ewww, no..._ "he exclaimed. " _So cliché..._ "

Daichi chuckled as he covered his own mouth, "Yeah...so cliché."

Their laughter died down and they both basked in that silence. Daichi suddenly heard a voice call out from Suga's side, calling the man as classes were about to begin again.

Sugawara spoke again after a while, _"I have to go."_

"I mean what I said, Suga. I'll do what it takes..."Daichi said firmly, making sure he believes it himself too.

Sugawara gave a huff of breath, " _I'll wait for you to prove it, Daichi."_

And then, he hung up.

Daichi stared long and hard on the screen of his phone. He stared into it for a full minute until he dropped it on the floor with a loud thud. He was again made aware of his rapid heart beat and the pounding of his head, which returned in the middle of their conversation.

But despite his horrible hangover, he found himself wearing a dazed smile. He felt anxious, but he was determined and elated at the same time It was a combination similar to what he feels before a game, and Daichi relished in it.

Because now, he had a real chance of being with Sugawara again. A chance to be happy...together...with him. And Daichi would never _ever_ forgive himself if he messed it up.

"I wouldn't mess it up."he said to himself as he forced himself to stand up.

He grabbed his phone from the floor, took his wallet and walked out the door. He stood in front of direct sunlight and took in deep breath. After three years, he felt like this was the first time the sunlight and fresh air felt so rejuvenating. Its been so long since he felt so sure of himself.

It's a new start.

And there, Daichi Sawamura swore to himself that he would be the man he once was, for himself and for Sugawara whom he will never let go again ever again.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! I'm working on a part two of this one-shot just because as I was writing it I thought, I needed an in-depth pain of Sugawara and how he has been doing for three years...
> 
> I'm such a slow writer, so I apologize in advance!


End file.
